Feeling Lazy and Neglectful

I just finished Chapter 5 in the book (a few weeks after I started it) and I am realizing how little time I have devoted over the past few weeks to this book I was so excited to read, and to this sweet blog Josh set up. More disheartening is the fact that I have shown a similar attitude toward seeking the Lord and the Holy Spirit. You guys have known me long enough to realize that this is my tendency... to start off excited and committed to something and then trail off and become distracted with other things. The good news (that each of you has reminded me of many times throughout our friendships) is that there is no condemnation in Christ Jesus. God is not holding my laziness and neglectfulness against me, and waiting until I learn to be disciplined before he lets me draw near to him, or before he showers me with love and kindness. He stands as a merciful Father eager to forgive and encourage me, to remind me of his love for me. But I believe he also looks forward to me pressing on to take hold of that for which he took hold of me! As I read Chapter 5 and read John 14, 15, 16, I was reminded of the significance of the Spirit being in us and how he has been given so that we could experience intimacy with God and bear fruit for His glory. But I am confessing to you guys that I feel like the man in James who looks in the mirror and then walks away and forgets what he looks like. When I am reading the book or the Word or in Church, and I'm faced with these truths about the Spirit, I feel compelled in that moment to seek him and experience him more. But when I leave that moment I become consumed with other things and don't feel like seeking him, or praying, or listening.

I feel like a broken record, but I need to share this with you guys because it's where my heart is right now. It is a strange feeling to know that I deeply want to draw closer to God and spend more time in prayer and fellowship with him, and believe that if I did I would discover more of who he is and his purposes for us, yet I know that I will choose not to because I will choose to do other things instead. DANG!! Pray for me if you think of it. Please let me know how you're doing and how I can pray for you.